I want to start this blog by saying that self-doubt has been a problem for many years, but it feels like more and more people are doubting themselves after the two years of COVID. I suspect that the long periods of isolation and a lack of interaction has bought out a lot of insecurities in many people. I feel that there are many reasons why people doubt themselves, but I will deal with three today.
- Past failures: There is no doubt that many people have had past failures and that causes self-doubt when anything starts getting difficult or challenging.
- Comparison: This is something that really bothers me because we are all made very different and that’s OK. I know it is a natural thing to do but why would you want to compare yourself to anybody else if you are different beings. Sadly, social media has made comparison very easy.
- Negative self-talk: People are often very hard on themselves and that causes negative self-thoughts that erodes confidence and leads to an erosion of self confidence that in turn leads people doubting their abilities and potential.
How do you begin getting comfortable in your own skin and being happy with who you are and what you have? It all begins with gratefulness. If you wake up in the morning and say thanks for what you have then your whole attitude will change. You can never fix past failures so why allow yourself to dwell on the past when you could live a full life today and tomorrow.
Please remember that you are a perfect being and that you can draw strength from your previous failures. They don’t have to cripple you – they can help you see the dangers as you move forward.
I see with our kids that they are constantly comparing themselves with their friends on social media. Even though I am quite active on social media I really believe that it is stealing our time and our children’s confidence. Anybody can look perfect if you spend hours and hours in a day to set up a studio and take professional photos and then photoshop them. You can never compete with someone who has the time and means to take the perfect picture.
In the June holidays my kids constantly showed me where all their friends were. Mozambique, Portugal, Bali, UK, Netherlands and many more. The kids constantly compared our holiday with the holidays of their peers. We went up the West Coast for 3 days then came back to work. We then went to the Tankwa in the Karoo for four days, the Karoo and Jefferies Bay for a week. The kids loved it but if they didn’t have Instagram, they would have loved it even more.
Please do not use social media to compare yourself to other people. Done!!! Then negative self-talk is the one that I don’t have answers for because I feel that it is not my area of expertise. The one thing that I can say is that I have been very hard on myself over the years, but I have never had negative self-talk. I believe in taking ownership of mistakes and pushing yourself to be better when a similar experience comes your way.
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