As a parent of three, I often feel that all I’m doing is saying, “No,” “Don’t do that,” “Pick that up,” “Put that down,” “Stop being cheeky,” and so on and so forth. When I reflect on some of my days, I feel like a real idiot because of the way I react to situations in my house or at work. I grew up in boarding school, and I was literally punished if I was late or if my room was a mess. I’m still very neat, and I hate it when the house isn’t tidy. My kids have made me less pedantic about neatness—but that’s taken years, and with age comes a bit of wisdom as well. The point I want to make is that we must lead by example, and we must lead with encouragement, not constant criticism.
Here are a few tips that I think will help if you encourage more than you criticize.
1. Use Inclusive Language
When I write these blogs, I often use the words “I” and “we” instead of “you.” That’s one way of building up and encouraging, rather than criticizing. It avoids blame and defensiveness when we address serious issues with the youth.
2. Create a Positive Environment
It is incredibly important to create a positive environment where teams feel valued and respected. When this environment is created, positive and encouraging criticism is better accepted and more impactful.
3. Celebrate Progress and Give Constructive Feedback
It is critically important to celebrate success and acknowledge progress. Not everyone is motivated by money. Often, a tap on the shoulder means more than money in the bank. When your team is in a slump, criticizing them when something goes wrong won’t help. It’s far better to encourage with constructive feedback, celebrate progress, and allow them to learn from their mistakes.
4. Listen More Than You Speak
We have one mouth and two ears—so we must listen twice as much as we talk. The art of active listening is not often practiced these days, and we must make it our mission to listen more than we speak. Our youth want to be heard, and it is our duty as leaders to listen more and at least try to understand.
5. Lead by Example
No title gives you respect. You have to earn it every day—by the way you work and by the way you treat people. Maya Angelou said, “People will forget what you said, forget what you did, but they will never forget how you made them feel.” Go out and inspire your colleagues by the way you work, by the way you treat them, and by the example you set—every single day.
Final Thoughts
I can’t believe we’re nearly halfway through the year and the June holidays are looming. No matter how many setbacks you’ve had—or how many achievements you’ve accomplished this year—make sure you set the example on a daily basis. The youth will follow.
GET IN TOUCH
If you would like to get in touch with me about my key note presentation, Debunking Motivation, please send an email to corne@cornekrige.com. Visit my website to review my speaker sheet for more info. I also share my story on my social media pages on Facebook and LinkedIn.